Eat real food.

So you have this can of wild-caught pacific yellow-fin tuna, and you wanna eat some with mayo, on white bread. We’ll talk about the white bread later (DON’T DO IT!) but for now, let’s talk about Mayonnaise.

Here’s what Kraft “Real” Mayonnaise lists on the ingredient label:

SOYBEAN OIL, WATER, EGGS, VINEGAR, CONTAINS LESS THAN 2% OF EGG YOLKS, LEMON JUICE CONCENTRATE, SALT, SUGAR, DRIED ONIONS, DRIED GARLIC, PAPRIKA, NATURAL FLAVOR, CALCIUM DISODIUM EDTA (TO PROTECT FLAVOR)

Best Foods (aka Hellmann’s) has a slightly shorter list:

SOYBEAN OIL, WATER, WHOLE EGGS AND EGG YOLKS, VINEGAR, SALT, SUGAR, LEMON JUICE, NATURAL FLAVORS, CALCIUM DISODIUM EDTA (USED TO PROTECT QUALITY)

Let’s not even talk about Miracle Whip. No, let’s do. It’s the worst of the lot:

WATER, SOYBEAN OIL, VINEGAR, HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP, MODIFIED FOOD STARCH, SUGAR, SALT, EGGS, EGG YOLKS, MUSTARD FLOUR, ARTIFICIAL COLOR, POTASSIUM SORBATE AS A PRESERVATIVE, PAPRIKA, SPICE, NATURAL FLAVOR, DRIED GARLIC.

I don’t know anything about Disodium EDTA or Potassium Sorbate. I’m guessing it’s not something we need to live, but whatever. What I really want to know is what counts as “natural flavors?” At the very least, that label has been used to cover MSG.

Anyway, do you know how easy it is to make mayonnaise when you want some?

I don’t believe in following recipes, but I do believe in reading them for ideas. Here’s one for Mayo: 2 eggs, 1 teaspoon salt, 1/4 cup lemon juice, 1 1/2 cups oil. Throw them in your blender, food processor, or mini-chopper, and whirl it until it turns creamy.

I’m no expert on this one. I made my first batch tonight. The recipe I used turned out a bit runny (but fine for tuna). I can also say with some authority that it’s not a good idea to use olive oil. Well, you can, but it’s going to taste a bit like… olive oil.
Tonight’s runny recipe: 1 egg, 1 Tablespoon Bragg’s Apple Cider Vinegar, 1/4 teaspoon salt, 1/2 cup olive oil. Next time I’ll use a different oil, and maybe a little less of it. It was sure delicious on my tuna.

There are nice recipes that call for only using the yolks (I generally lean toward using whole things, so I use whole eggs), for adding a bit of mustard powder, and using lemon juice instead of vinegar. There are all sorts of fancy alternatives, including a curry mayonnaise, that I think looks pretty exciting. I’m looking forward to doing some more experimenting, when this one runs out.